Note:  If you think I’m talking about you, I am.

It’s utterly hilarious how you think I am sincerely infatuated with you.  I’m still not over my last relationship, why would I be interested in you?  You aren’t even up to my standards of boyfriend material, let alone “friend” material.  One thing is for sure, “my friend”, you are not special to me.  You most likely never will be.  I hope you find this out and realize you are complete shit compared to even the slightest acquaintances I have come across in my life. 

What I find most amusing is the fact that you underestimate my intelligence.  I am not stupid, my dear.  I know more things than you think I know.  I can put 2 2 together and come up with a sum of 4.  Isn’t it wonderful how I am just too smart for my own good?  Indeed it is, if I must say so myself. 

After knowing you for so many years, the facade has finally unveiled, and my eyes have opened.  What a waste of time thinking you were different.  Perhaps it was my fault for setting an expectation based upon old opinions.  Ultimately, however, you repulse me.

Again, I cannot stress this enough:  I do not invest time in people that do not invest time in me.  Do I come off as being a bitchy fat girl?  Perhaps.  Do you know what the ironic twist of this entire situation is?  I can lose the weight, the hair, get the right clothes and shoes, but you will always be a loser.  Not only does your personality disgust me, but so do your shitty aspirations to become nothing better in life.  Nevertheless, I give you kudos for being so brave in acting the way that you do.  I guess one thing we have in common is our “no shame” character.  Though my expertise is much more refined than yours.

Oh, BTW, my ex-boyfriends have been the following: one of Europe’s top models for Ford, a CEO, heirs to million/billion-dollar empires, an engineer, and an accomplished musical virtuoso.  They all had jobs.  A REAL job.  What do you do?  You do not even come close to making a comparison.  What I am saying now is gibberish to you anyway.  Honestly, what would you know?  Your only comprehension is what makes up your entire entity: trash… to the fullest extent of its definition.

The essence of your existence is to provide me with mild amusement…