I think about this everyday…
It’s 4AM, and I lie in my bed wide awake. Another restless night, sleepless with thoughts of wanting… someone to love.
I don’t know how it came this far - how I’ve become so depressed in my own feeling of loneliness. Perhaps it’s this city that I live in: a city of 10 million dreams and I can’t seem to fulfill one. I haven’t felt this way in so long… so entirely broken. My mind is lost. Tears are streaming down my face endlessly, and my sorrows have come to consume my sanity.
I don’t want to talk to anyone. I want to be left alone. I don’t want help. Don’t talk to me. Don’t reach out to me. I don’t want to listen. I want to drown in my own thoughts.
I am depressed… I feel so sick I want to vomit.
The day pain annihilated my heart,
and the day the word “love” pushed me down,
that was the day I used to think my entire existence was meaningless.
When I ran out of tears,
when I learned what it meant to lose,
love never actually pushed me down,
but pushed me to move forward again.
Life is life, and the love I had for you will forever be beautiful.
I loved you so much, and will keep on loving you.
I never regretted loving you in my life.
Even in the slowest moments, time still managed to fly by
to catch the bad memories and remind my heart
that even though our love ended, it was still beautiful.
Inevitably, life must go on again…
If I could go back in time, I would still want us to be the same,
to love you like I did, and accept our fate up to last minute.
If I did anything for someone, I did it because of love.
And if I cried for anyone, I cried from my heart.
Even though we had to end, my love for you will always be beautiful.